


Bed Hog

by Soyna



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Blanket Hogging, Death Threats, M/M, No Beta, Tseng is always threatening Kunsel, snuggles, we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-24
Updated: 2017-04-24
Packaged: 2018-10-23 07:19:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10714830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soyna/pseuds/Soyna
Summary: Dark Nation is a bed hog and Kunsel has to deal with it … again.





	Bed Hog

He was only out of the bed for ten minutes. Not even ten minutes, it had to been only five as he ran to the washroom to relieve himself. Kunsel knew it was a gamble, it always was. Leaving the soft, warm comfort of the large bed and Rufus’ side, he knew that there was a chance that there would be no room for him when he got back to it.

And there she was sprawled in the spot that he had vacated and seemingly spreading like an oil slick across the white sheets.

“Damn it, Dark,” He whispered harshly. “You have your own bed! Why do you have to keep taking my warm spot? Shoo.”

She raised her head, wagged her tentacle and flopped back down.

Like she always did.

There was only one way to get her out of the bed and that was food. She was a good guard hound but she was also a glutton. That meant going into the kitchen. That meant possibly dealing with a Turk in the kitchen. There were always Turks around Rufus and none of them like him. 

It was anyone else, he could end up running back to his room naked.

Again.

“Dark, you’re such a bitch,” he grumbled as he found a pair of underwear to throw on so he wouldn’t be completely naked and for good measure grabbed Rufus’ robe to sneak out into the kitchen to get the treats that would guarantee that she would go back to snoozing in her own room.

The hound had a room that was bigger than his quarters, which he was sometimes envious of but would never admit.

He walked as stealthly as he could and used all his training to listen to if there was a Turk around. There was no sign in the living room. There was the remnants of their clothes still strewn about and a half bottle of vodka still sitting on the table. Nothing unusual there. Still on guard he walked to the pantry and opened the door. He knew exactly where the bacon flavoured snacks were located. He grabbed two for good measure and was about to close the pantry when the light in the room flicked on.

He yelped and slammed the door on the pantry. He felt like he was five years old and stealing cookies when he wasn’t allowed to have cookies. Kunsel spotted the reason the lights turned on. “Tseng,” he gasped. A little more breathless than he would have liked to show.

This was the last person he wanted to run into. A cold chill ran over his whole body and he involuntarily shivered.

“Kunsel.” Tseng’s voice was curt and cold. “We’ve had discussions about your encounters with Rufus, have we not?”

The SOLDIER nodded and rubbed the back of his head. “Yeah, we have.” Kunsel was waiting for the lecture to start again about how it was inappropriate for Rufus to have dealings with a SOLDIER and a man on top of that and if he did persist in the relationship he could expect his career to be cut short.

Kunsel was sure that was a death threat. 

Rufus had laughed it off and plied him with kisses and a hand job that made him forget that he could end up in a shallow grave or in a mako tank.

“And yet you persist,” Tseng said and unfolded his arms. Kunsel immediately got in a fighting stance. Tseng was fast and was terrifying to watch in hand to hand combat. He may beat him in brute strength, but there was no way that he could match the man unless he had his sword.

Which he had not access to as he was standing in front of him holding dog treats in the Vice Presidents kitchen.

“What can I say? He’s irresistible,” Kunsel tried to joke. Reno would have laughed at it. Rude would have grunted and pointed at the door. Cissnei would roll her eyes and tell him to get his clothes. Tseng could still pull a gun out, kill him, clean up the murder, and Rufus would be none the wiser.

“You’re the only one that has been sneaking around with for the past six months,” Tseng said. “It is,” Tseng paused as if he was trying to figure out an appropriate word, “a nice change not to have to chase after his bar flings.”

Kunsel blinked and furrowed his brow. “Uh, thanks,” he drawled out and was not sure where this conversation was going to go now. “So … do I run or can I go back to bed?”

He was pretty sure he was going to have to run, but there was a slim chance that Tseng would let him stay. He would like to stay for a change. He was tired and the bed had been so comfortable and warm.

If that damn mutt had just stayed in her own room.

Tseng hummed and his eyes flickered down to the dog treats in his hands. “I will allow you to return. Do not try my patience in any matter with Rufus or I will ensure you are made into a batch of Dark’s treats.”

Kunsel nodded and backed away from Tseng, walking backwards all the way back to the bedroom, where he quickly closed the door. He was shaking slightly as he turned back to the bed to see that neither Rufus or Dark had moved.

“Here, Dark,” he whispered and held out a treat. Her head shot up and her nose started to sniff the air. “Come on and let me back in the bed before Tseng tries to kill me.” Dark stood up on the bed, dramatically stretched, yawned and sat down.

“Off the bed, mutt,” he said in a sing-song voice.

She gave a soft yip as if she was waiting for him to throw the treat at him; Her tentacle swayed back and forth as she waited. He knew better than to throw her the treat; Fool him once …

He waggled the treat at her and waited. It took for another minute before she huffed and bounded off the bed towards him. She was a large monster and knew that she could easily rip his throat out if for one second he thought of hurting Rufus. He had more than once had her sit on him to make sure that he knew his place.

Stealing his sleeping spot was one of those things to remind him that Rufus was hers and she made the rules around here. He patted her head and fed her one of the treats and threw the other one into the direction of her attached bedroom.

He didn’t wait to see if see if she scurried after it as he quickly crawled back under the covers. He could hear her loudly snorfle her food and snort as she padded back to her room.

Maybe she would go bug Tseng and sit on him.

Even though, Kunsel was certain that besides Rufus, Tseng was the only one that Dark would take commands from without a second thought.

He was quickly enveloped in warmth and the smell of Rufus. He scooted beside him so that he could spoon the blond man. He sighed as he got comfortable and the warmth started to surround him again.

“Where’d ya go,” Rufus mumbled in his sleep.  
“Kitchen. Dark’s a bed hog,” he whispered. “I’m back now.”

“Tseng didn’t shoot you?” Rufus whispered and pushed back against him.

“You knew he was here?”

“Tseng’s turn,” Rufus mumbled and grabbed at his arm and hugged it close. Rufus was such a dork when he was sleepy. Kunsel waited patiently as Rufus wiggled and moved back into a comfortable position for him and fall back asleep.

Moments like these almost made the fact that any of Rufus’ bodyguards could kill him at any moment.

That was until a great weight was pressed against his back. Dark was back as it seemed that the treats were not enough to persuade her that she needed to go back to her room. She made some loud yawning sounds, grunted a few times, pushed her paws against his back and seemed to go to sleep.

Dark did not sleep quietly.

She snored.

He was also going to need coffee as it seemed that he was not going to get any sleep with a snoring hound on one side of him, a Turk that would be happy to dispose of him in a food processing plant, and the Vice President who was using him as his own heating blanket.

He could do without the first two, but if he was able to have a few more moments like this, he would live with it.

For now.


End file.
